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Some days I wake up feeling 60 and other days I wake up feeling 6. So if your within that age group .. we can relate.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Continuum


























Going through my bookshelf today sorting out my old comics and books this fell out of one of my old Sweet Valley storybooks. Its an old card my parents gave me when i first turned 13.

A teenager i was. All grown up and All knowing .

Back then i was most probably more interested in the present which came along with the card then what was written on the card.

Although as much as i try to wrack my brains i cant remember what they got me.

but it doesn't matter, Though the memory of the present has faded away the wordings on the card still remain crisp and clear as it was 9 years ago :

"For My Teenager"
Words I want you to Remember .....

I have so many wishes for you, and I want them all to come true.

I want you to use your heart as a compass as you grow and find your way in the world, but i want you to always have an appreciation for the direction of home.

I want you to be self-reliant, self-motivated, and self sufficient, but to know that you will never be alone.

I want you to be safe and smart and cautious.

I want you to be wise beyond your years.

I don't want you to grow up too fast. I want you to come with me with your fears.

I pray that you wont rush the future, and that you'll slowly build on the steppingstones of the past. You have a strong foundation of family and friends and joy that will always last.

I love you beyond all words. I promise that i will love you beyond all time. So many treasures await you in your journey of life ... and being blessed with you... has been mine.

-Douglas Pangels-

Wise words which the teen back then look as just ink on paper, the young adult now thinks it should be engraved in gold.

Now that my teenage years are over and as much as i hope that I've fulfilled the wishes in the card ... I know i have not and i still have a long way to go.

So much has changed from 13 to 22 .

Responsibilities.

Worries.

Future.

Drive.

Hope.

<3

Sometimes i wish i had this much drive when i was younger. It gets overwhelming sometimes, making up for lost time, like running a marathon with no finish line.

Thinking out aloud "Am i doing the right thing?"

Hearing silence.

Because now there is no more nagging, screaming and yelling of what exactly is the right thing.

Now the only answers are in actions.

22, looking back there is many things i wish i did and didn't do. But after all that is said and done, looking at where i am today ican truly say that i am Happy.

Happy with the choices i made, people i met, things i did , life i led and future that i will have

but am i contented ?

No, and i don't think i ever will be.

Why ?

Because behind all my big, glossy, celluloid dreams and the never ending climb to reach it.

is the simple wish to someday make my parents proud.

and when i think I've achieved that.

I will finally be content.

Time polishes what is most precious, so that when your older you can see what truly shines.

That's why the bookmark has found a new home, from being hidden between the dusty pages of my book, to being tagged up on my Wish board.