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Some days I wake up feeling 60 and other days I wake up feeling 6. So if your within that age group .. we can relate.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mr. Frog & Me

Dear Mr. Frog,

I'm writing this letter to you because the 15 minutes i spent with you has left such a profound impact on me. You are an inspiration. If Obama was a frog he'd be you. Judging from my initial reaction upon seeing you was to scream on top of my lungs then stomping my foot going 'shooo' 'shooo' , I'm guessing we kinda started of on the wrong foot. But hey first impressions should never count. Right?

But seriously, could you blame me for thinking the first thing you'd do when u saw me was jump on me. I mean with your slimy,moist,warty dirt brown skin, I'm not one to judge but it is kinda gross. Anyhow i've always had horrible encounters with your kind, the last frog i saw was at Mt. Kinabalu park, i was sitting down near a tree and the first thing that green freak did was jump,right smack on my forehead, only to miss and end up dangling on my glasses.

I swear if if wasn't for a fact that i had an eye power of a thousand and that I'm blind without my glasses. I'd fling that specs straight back to Semenanjung. So instead i used what the good lord gave me, my vocal cords were finally put to good use that day. The frog jumped so far from me i think it broke the Olympic high jump record in the process.On top of that i also think i might have caused it to now have permanent hearing loss. Anyways the green devil was pure evil, it left a trail of slimy muck on my glasses which i was too grossed out to wipe away. Leaving me to stumble like a blind bat on my trek down. Trust me i cursed that green monster to hell for every bump and cut i got that day.Now if u see a slimy, evil looking, puke green coloured frog using a hearing aid. Tell him i said he had it coming.

So Mr. Frog do you now see the reason for my initial reaction ?Although whenever i see a frog i do feel a tinge of guilt when i recall the joy i had running around in Bio lab during frog dissection, showing everyone the still beating heat of the frog i held in my hand. Ah the simple joys of youth. 

Back to you, what really intrigued me was that despite my feet stomping and shoo shoo-ing you remained perfectly still unfazed by the strange female with a green face (i was using a facial mask btw, i'm in no way one of your cousins) in front of you. As interesting as you were i had to get you to move, you were sitting right in front of my washing machine and if i didn't get my clothes out, it would never dry in time and I'd end up going to work in the clothes God provided me with. Not gonna happen.

Judging that my next brilliant plan to get you away was by making meow-ing noises pretending i was a cat that was going to eat you didn't work either . I kinda gave up. I mean you didn't even blink your bugged eyes when i meow-ed at you. That, i have to say was very fearless of you . You are one very brave frog, well either that or cats generally don't eat frogs and you were going, "Gurllll did u take yo crazy pills today". So now you not only think I'm freaky but also a blond. A wise person once told me second impressions don't count either.

So despite my valiant efforts there you remained. Looking at me, looking at you with your huge caramel eyes that had flecks of gold in it.On a side note, they should really come up with coloured contacts of your eyes. Its really pretty. Since you remained like a perfect froggish gentleman the whole time , blinking at me with an expression of polite curiosity. i was finally convinced you wouldn't jump on me and i unloaded my clothes from the machine and dried it.

When i was done with drying my clothes i came back to see if you were still there, and sure enough there you were sitting perfectly still. Hmmm if i kissed you would you turn into a handsome prince ? I mean them fairy tales have to get their ideas from somewhere right, it couldn't all be fiction. 

I mean seriously, first you didn't jump on me which totally shows what a gentlemen you are and then despite my borderline neurotic behaviour you just patiently waited right there which shows your dependable too. and your eyes, I've always said that eyes maketh a man hot. 

And then i thought what if you don't turn into a prince, Nope i didn't live for 2 decades and then some to have my first kiss with a frog. Anyway i know better then to think 'The frog prince' is real, i mean come on we all know that out of all them Disney tales only Cinderella is non-fiction (Knight and shining armour, call me!)

So instead of sharing a slimy kiss with you i decided to take out my camera and take pictures of you. I was still pissed at not getting the flood pictures, I'm not letting a frog get away. So after taking countless pictures of you. Although Mr Frog i don't think you should give up your day job, Same pose in every single frame. Tyra would not be proud. 

After a dozen frog pictures later, i was finally pleased with my pseudo photography for the day and i went to keep my camera away, and when i came back.

You were gone.

I didn't even get to say goodbye :(

and You even politely waited for me to finish taking all my pictures of you before you left. I knew you were a prince.

Oh well.

So instead of starting on my Feature article which is due in two days time, i decided to write an open letter to you on my blog.

Goodbye Mr.Frog ! It was really nice meeting you !

Malati Siniah

“Someday we'll find it, that rainbow connection,the lovers 
the dreamers and me.”

-Kermit the Frog-


sawwaa! said...

Do you know you made me ALMOST terkencing reading your beautiful heartfelt open letter to such a world leader?? Obama would be so proud of you girlfriend!
I'm telling you, you have a gift! This is brills!!!!! You should write a weekly column in some happenG newspaper la babe! Gila ala Carrie gitu.

AND!!! When I read the part about your facial mask, I thought of Anis and her green Shrek remark. HAHAHAHAA OMGGGG I MISS YOUUUUUUU.

p/s: Loved the flood post, am so sorry you didn't get your pix. =(

Anonymous said...

hmmm i smell a metaphor in this. so whats the story behind the story miss Malati.


AnisDatt said...

Okay Mal, you and me should really be offended with Sarah's remark. Jom! :P

And honestly this whole entry made up the whole hiatus thingy. A brilliant comeback. I absolutely love this.

I can almost imagine the part where you and the makcik keep pointing out to each other the scenarios. Haha... Omg, it's hilarious. Cute but hilarious.

AnisDatt said...

oh and so is that frog your knight in karat armor??? :P

amirahrah said...

mal omg i couldnt stop LAUGHING reading your blog, you write so well im so jealous and you're only making me miss you moreeeeeee! omg you're so annoying for finishing your internship A DAY after i leave!!! ahhhh so marah! but i really miss you, please please please make singapore happen and not like our camp!! please!! thank you i love you!

chrishandra said...

y'know, this froggie chap..... reminds me of a similar encounter with another animal.

mine was a horse. and what a horse. you know, the strong silent type, with big, beautiful eyes, soulful eyes, eyes that said he was thinking beautiful poetic thoughts about the world and life in general.

he let children ride him and pull his mane. he let adults squeak excitedly and photograph him. he maintained his graceful poise and kindness.he was the perfect gentleman.

right up to the point where he threw me off his back and tried to kick my head in.

moral of the story: TRUST NO ONE.

ps: mal, with our luck my guess is it was a girl frog.