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Some days I wake up feeling 60 and other days I wake up feeling 6. So if your within that age group .. we can relate.

Monday, October 29, 2007

when dealing with a crazy person .....

Below is an MSN conversation i had with an old friend whom i haven't spoken to in months . It begins when he suddenly messages me out of the blue :

Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
i'm gonna kill you!!!!!


Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
i'll kill every one of you!!!!!


MaL says:
yes hello to you too

Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
dun mock me


Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
i'll kill you

MaL says:
yes its been a while i know . i'm good thanks

MaL says:
how are u ?

MaL says:
and yes do share why do u have the urge to kill ur old friend

Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
i dun like girls

Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
they're boring


MaL says:
well then thats a reasonable explanation

MaL says:
go ahead with ur killing spree then

MaL says:
hows things at monash

MaL says:
i'll be coming there next year

Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
good lord no!


Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
oh btw


Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
would you prefer to be stabbed ofr shot?


MaL says:
i know ur actually glad . well thats a tough choice i always wanted to go in a dramatic way

MaL says:
butchering

MaL says:
now thats the way to go

Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
i dun do that


Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< says:
that's for pig farmers


Splice>>Going to Israel with a M'sian passport. Genius<< style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">
i'm above that


MaL says:
ah i see yet you resort to physical violence . so why has my kind angered you so ?

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
did i ask you to start asking questions?


MaL says:
well i heard when dealing with a mental person you must always remain clam

MaL says:
i learnt that in Dealing with Psyco's 101

MaL says:
therefor i ask u a question

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
shut nup i'll kill you!!!


Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
why dun u understand that?


MaL says:
well lets talk about the weather then

MaL says:
its been nice isnt it

MaL says:
not too hot

MaL says:
so hows studies n all ?

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
dun change the subject


Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
do u know wat i'll do?


Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
and why are u studying psychos?


MaL says:
i'm not i watched a program on it on tv once

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
oh and now u think u know everything eh?


MaL says:
not everything

MaL says:
but enough

MaL says:
*insert smily face here*

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
huh


Splice>>Anyone but England<< style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">
wat's that for?


MaL says:
well it was to catch you un aware and deviate you from ur crazy plan

MaL says:
it worked i see

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
no

MaL says:
Britney spears should hire me

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
cuz i'm gonna kill u?


MaL says:
i'd make her sane again

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
wats wrong with her?


MaL says:
well shes crazy

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
has she married that kelvin dude yet?


Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
if she has no wonder


Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
he's such a lamer


MaL says:
have u been living on another planet

MaL says:
they divorced agess agooo

MaL says:
and now shes going mental

Splice>>Anyone but England<< says:
so they got married?


MaL says:
u should follow the gossip

MaL says:
its so fun

MaL says:
now back to the more normal conversations ppl have when they havent spoken to each other for months

MaL says:
how are you and how is life


...... And yes be rest assured the rest of the conversation continued to be an interesting one .. i should talk more to my old friends they provide good drama . But look i managed to deviate him from killing me , maybe i should try being a mediator in the future , it will be a good job for me .

They'd send me to terrorize the terrorist .


Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.
Lewis Mumford
US architect & sociologist (1895 - 1990)

Monday, October 22, 2007

Did you see me today ?

I was the one who sat across you on the train

I was the one who fell asleep and missed my stop

I was the one who started to panic and ran around aimlessly trying to make sense where i was

I was the one who sat in your taxi trying to give you directions to my work place only to leave you more confused then you already were

I was the one who insisted you used the meter .

I was the stranger you shouted "Good Morning" to from your lorry , you startled me and i didn't reply but "Good Morning to you too"

I was the one who forgot my key to work and you were the one who opened the door for me

I was the one who tried to buy a 50 sen sweet for RM50 to get change . You said No

I was the one who bought you your nescafe ice

I was the one who spoke to you in horrible tamil , you laughed but praised me for trying

I was the one who dozed off during the meeting , you were the one who took a picture of it as evidence

I was the one who laughed while drinking and i snorted coffee out of my nose , lovely i know .

I was the one on Facebook at work , and pretending to do research on Google when anyone passed by . You laughed at me the whole time .

I was the one who started singing randomly while walking , sorry Mika makes such happy songs

I was the one who put 5 ringgit in your cup and tho you couldn't see me , you gave me a smile that brightened up my day

I was the one who cursed the sun for being too hot and 5 mints later saying sorry to god when it started to rain like mad

I was the one who got wet in the rain , yup that was me my umbrella decided to have a life of its own and turn inside out

I was the one who dropped all my coins at the station , thank you for picking them up for me

I was the one who was walking alone at night clutching my bag for dear life , looking over my shoulder to see if anyone wanted to mug me, city life has gotten to me

I was the one who asked you for the time and you turned around looking as if someone pointed a gun at you , " 7.00 " and you hurried away , KL people are very high strung , its contagious

I was the one you bumped into and didn't say sorry

I was the one who was staring daggers at you on the train ride back , when you shared with everyone every song on your play list , on loudspeaker , i'm sorry but there is only so much of Mawi i can stand.

I was the frazzled female sitting beside you on the train looking like she's had one to many coffees , 5 to be exact but whose counting

I was the one who laughed at your Doraemon ring tone when your phone rang

I was the one who you sniggered at when my Superman ring tone came up when my phone rang , that snigger turned to laughter when i said " Well time to save the world again "

I was the one you spoke to on the train back , it was nice meeting you , you have an interesting job .

I was the one muttering to myself behind you when the ticket line was so long , no i'm not mental

I was the one singing " Why don't you like me , Why dont you like me " , Grace Kelly by Mika , his songs always make me sing . Yes and you were the one who turned nervously at me probably thinking " she's really lost it " and don't think i didn't notice you slowly shifting away from me . Just to make it clear i'm really not mental .

I was the one you picked up at the station , i made you miss your tai chi class . Sorry , got caught up with work.

I was the one you had dinner with , loved the food and the laughter

I was the one you called from Japan , I miss you.

I was the one who spoke to you online , I know i'm bad at replying messages , sorry , but i'm getting better

I was the one who screamed when i poked my eye getting out my contact lenses , didn't go blind but i did give u a shock .

I was the one who was rude to you just now . I'm sorry , it was a long day .



YUP , THAT WAS ME !



" Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. "
Truman Capote
US author (1924 - 1984)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Teens gone Wild-cats

People are driven to do crazy things when they are bored . Take me for example , i was bored in Melaka and while the whole family went out to the temple i staid back at home . At my grandmothers house they have a huge ass aquarium , i honestly think fishes are the most useless pets . why u ask ? well its simple THEY DO NOTHING . Yes you stare at them they stare back at You . You hit the glass they swim away but only to swim back 1 minit later . Trust me this is only amusing for the first 10 times u do it then it gets boring . I should know as i did it , because they were the only things alive in the house for me to annoy . So of course i turn to they one things that never fails to amuse me THE TV.

As i was flipping channels guess what show was playing . yes people the highly anticipated show of the summer ... the show that the whole world is crazy about "HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 !!!" I didn't even watch the first one but i thought what the hell lets see whats driving people so crazy about it . I was not disappointed it was the most hilarious show i have ever watched . i swear if they asked me to write a review on it this is how it would be:


" it was like watching a bollywood movie .... only with white kids "

Oh god !! it was barely 10 mints into the show and already i heard 3 songs and they sing it at the most abrupt-est times . The kids all excited for their summer break to begin , their at their last class their teacher is droning on about something and suddenly the bell rings what do the kids do ? SCHOOL'S OUT SCREAM AND SHOUT ! why sing of course , isn't it the most natural thing to to . And suddenly the whole class jumps up and start singing jumping on tables the their school is over and of course as it is the most natural thing to do , the whole school joins their happy song .


Sureeee didn't ur last day of school look like that . Why imagine the same scene only in our own Sekolah Menegah school in Malaysia , its the last day of school . Their bored waiting for their class to be over and when it is , our hero well lets call him Zeki Effran , gets up and starts to sing and dance :

" Mari kawan kawan sekolah dah habis ! mari kita menyanyi sama sama !!!! "

And whats the teachers response to this ?

"ZEKI DAH JADI GILA KE ! PERGI JUMPA GURU BESAR! "


Yup my friends i don't think high school musical scenes will be playing in the Government school near you any time soon . Oh and speaking about the stars of it , well Zac Efron no matter how blue his eyes were , annoyed the heak out of me . I mean the so called "Villain" if the show was out to seduce him this summer , and she did everything but strip in front of him to get his attention , showering him with gifts (which he took of course ) sticks to him like glue 24/7 and our hero of course remains oblivious to the fact that she likes him . And half the show all u could see was him was prancing around ur tv screen singing one stupid song after another. ( which I'm still humming right now) .

And of course since its a Disney show it had to be wrapped up in bubblegum . Zac and his on screen gf Vanessa what'sherface had so many of those "almost kisses" . All i was screaming at the tv was





" GET A ROOM A
LREADY " BUT NOOOO those too continued to have more of those "almost kisses" and gazing into each others faces adoringly (see picture and barf) . It was so sweet i think i got diabetes just looking at them .




OOOoooo and not forgetting Vanessa our heroine , and her "i-am-going-to-smother-you-with-sweetness-till-you-choke-and-die" attitude annoyed me till no end too . god it was like she had no life of her own without her knight and dancing armor . And her annoying wave when she sees her bf , don't get me started it was so so so so so perky .

And not forgetting the supporting cast , the African American dude with the big hair (pic) , well in one scene they were trying to convince him to dance with them in this talent show or something and he was all so adamant saying "NO ! No Way , There is No way in hell I'm gonna dance "
(well he didn't say hell Disney wouldn't have been to happy if he did) making a HUGE fuss that he didn't want to , when guess who was dancing on tables and singing at the beginning when school was out . And of course what more sane and rational way would they use but to convince him to dance with a , yup you guessed it a SONG !!! i mean isn't that what you would do too . So there he was DANCING mind you and singing along with the other idiots on how he DIDN'T WANT TO DANCE. And the whole time i was there on the sofa laughing my head off. Yes i think i scared the fishes too .

I think the only person in the show who didn't annoy me was the so called "villain" who was supposed to annoy everyone with her bratty attitude , i think she acted really well . Well to be honest at that point my family came back and i was talking to them and totally forgot to watch the ending . I'm sure this is one show with no surprise ending , so i didn't loose any sleep trying to figure out if Zac really did end up with Vanessa in the end .

Well PEople after my review i have only one thing to say to u guys :


GO WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 BECAUSE IT ROCKS !
ah Disney would be so proud of me :)


"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home". - David Frost

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

of plastic bags n ones that clam that their not ....

Well this blogging thing is turning out to be more harder the i expected well the fact that i'm
but lazy could be a main reason . oh well credit should be given that i'm actually trying this time. I'm doing this to prove the people who call me a technophobic person its not technophobia ppl its procrastination :D . Well what i wanted to comment this time is the cult craze by Anya Hindmarch yes you know the one , the designer bag that self proclaims that its NOT a plastic bag even when even a blind man can see that its not . Yes i do believe the "i'm not a plastic bag " bag was designed to insult the intelligence of mankind .



Yes Anya thank you for pointing out the obvious i can now sleep well at night knowing that ur stupid bag is not a plastic bag . The bag which is now going on ebay for USD200 and rising , is originally priced at USD 15 but because of the popularity and it being sold out in many of its outlets , many people are willing to pay an arm and leg for it . I heard its going for RM55 in Malaysia that is way affordable judging how expensive her usual stuff are but you can forget it if u think u can go to the store and get it there is a prebook list and waiting list with the names of every female in MaLAysia on it . I dont really know whats the big deal about it . The bags are mass produced in china thus don't be surprised to see a "Made in china" label stamped on your stylo bag . According to BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6587169.stm ) , the bag which is to "to encourage people not to use plastic carrier bags" while shopping , which is is pretty impossible judging how much Malaysians shop . Tell me try to think of ur last shopping trip at Giant and think how many of these bags would it take to fit it all ur stuff . Look at the pretty picture below how many of u guys buy only this for ur grocery shoppin ?


I can just imagin the aunties who shop at the market go :

" Where to put the chicken and fish leh ? "

Every it person in Tinseltown is carrying this bag why even Prince Charles wrote to her saying how much he loved the bag . However since her vision for this campaign is good , as long as her motives for a greener earth is the only thing on her mind she should be applauded * inner hippie talking* . And as long as shes not using any sweatshops in china to make this bags its ok .

Anyhow what sparked this topic is what i saw a few days ago as i was roaming the streets of KL . On my way to the Monorail station i saw something so hilarious which i'm sure would make poor ol' Anya horrified . Our dear pirated goods makers have came up with an ingenious design update of the bag . Yes its exactly the same , with the writing professing loudly still that , "I'm not a plastic bag" only with one slight difference .... its made of plastic . Now thats a bag i want to buy , a bag that confuses everyone it says one thing and it is another , you cant exactly call a bag a liar now can you . I guess the designers at Pirated Inc.was going for the Ironic angle . What ingenious insight . Anya should get some ideas from them . I so wish i had a camera at that time i really want a picture of the bag . i shall go to every pirated bag shop in kl to search for this bag , i want it more then the ori one .

Oh well i guess thats all for now . Tara !


" I can't criticize what I don't understand. If you want to call this art, you've got the benefit of all my doubts." -
Charles Rosin, Northern Exposure, Aurora Borealis, 1990